arriving at the door

It seems that to pass the door I have to leave something behind. I have left so much behind in my life.........I have lost husband, friends, home, my children have grown and are making their own ways in the world. Many years ago, in getting married I lost my birth family who were unable to reconcile themselves to the man who was my husband for 29 years and who are still lost to me.


So what can I leave behind? What do I WANT to leave behind?

Thats easy. I have such a thin skin at the moment, which fears and therefore feels the pain of rejection as easily as the princess felt the pea under all those mattresses in the fairy tale. I want to shed that skin and grow a skin that can take all weathers, that will protect me and nurture me, in which I can feel safe.

So I will leave my thin skin at the door, along with its attendant neuroses and make my way into the new land to explore.