I fear....

I fear I may have skimmed the surface of my past 3 years. I fear the gate to the house of serpents may not open unless I confess...


Tender, the love of a mother
Raw and innocent the love of a mother.
A life snuffed too early
too early at too young an age.

A mother loves unconditionally
she sees no flaws,
no wrongs
only rights.

The breast which fed me
the breast which gave me life,
nurtured me for months
failed her in only eleven.

Undetectable, by feel.
by sight, only by one aware
of one's body and its many guises.

Take note you women on this journey
Be not scared to watch in the mirror.
Orange peel, red rash and shrinkage
I beg of you, Take heed.


I'm so sorry to bring down the feel of this most joyous travelling, but I really felt that I hadn't expressed my feelings for the last three years of my life. In October 2002, my mum was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. There is no cure for this cancer. Mum died 11 months after diagnosis. Don't just look for a lump, check for ANY changes to your breast. During my half sleep in the morning, I mostly think of mum, still. When I wake at night, she is in my thoughts. When I'm feeling down, she pops into my head. I have a few chardy's and she's there. I'm not down all of the time, in fact most times I'm fine.... There are great things to reflect upon during this journey and it's lucky that the Gorgons are not ready for us yet.... I have much time to reflect.

smb